Life, Love, and Hookers

Muse

The time is 0645.

I just spent the last ten hours with some friends of mine who had flown down from the US.

First we went to Cheers for alcohol, and then we spent a large amount of time looking for a place to drink, because Cheers closes down at 0200.

We ended up in a hook joint. Want something more specific? It was a whorehouse. A place of ladies of negotiable virtue. It was also a club, with a large dancefloor and techno music. But primarily it was a hook joint. You'd go there for a drink and a dance and a bed in the back. That's where we were.

And as according to the policy there, (or at least according to what I could see) all guests are to be escorted and accompanied by a hostess, our table was joined by one. Our table. Our table which had four guys and two women.

I have to say, the place had a lot of lovely young ladies. In various shapes and sizes to cater to every taste. From the tall and thin, to the stocky to the petite. All in various kinds of clothing. ranging from the short, to the tight jeans, to the semi-business suit that the woman with us was wearing.

The thing is, the woman with us reminded me way too much of the 'Softie.

It's been over a year since we broke up, and I have not seen her in a very long time. But this hooker reminds me of her She looks like her. She sounds like her. And she's sitting next to me. And she's sitting next to me in the same way that the 'Softie used to. Next to me and a little away from me, but with some form of physical contact. Watching me and my friends go crazy and do crazy shit. I am quite drunk.

My friends note her interest in me. Or, lets face it, interest in the little that's in my wallet. Nice guys - and girls - they are, they egg her on. This is going to be hilarity for everyone. And so she does hit on me. Makes it quite obvious that she is available if I have the cash.

But I have to refuse because she looks like the 'Softie. There was this massive temptation to talk to her. To just chat. To flirt. There was a temptation to take her up on the offer. There was a temptation to take her and fuck her like it was going out of style.

But I didn't. The power imbalance was way too wrong. Because there was also the temptation to take her in my arms and comfort her (as if she needed comforting) and say let me take you away from all this

She would have all the power and I would probably be just the dupe.

It doesn't have to be that way. After all, as far as I'm concerned prostitution is just a profession. She sells her body, I sell my mind, and as a friend of mine once said we both whore out or dignity for cash.

There are cases where men have married pornstars. There are fairytales where men have married hookers. I have no problems with hitting on a woman and finding out she's a hooker. I don't have issues with marrying one or anything like that. But starting off at this point and getting into a relationship with her is a non-happening thing. If i ask her and she takes it professionally instead of personally, I'll end up blowing all my cash on someone who doesn't care about me. Not that I haven't done it before many times, but no one who didn't care about me went out of her way to make sure she gets every centavo I have (this maybe because I am seriously lacking in centavos). If she takes it personally, I'll always be worrying if she's with me, or with my full-of-cobwebs wallet. On the other hand, I would always be wondering if i was with her, or the 'Softie in my head. And she would be too.

So as we left, in memory of the 'Softie I left her a thumping tip. And I walked away.

My PSP Saga

Muse

My life seems full of sagas.

No, not the Norse kind. Not like Gilgamesh. Or Odysseus. In fact not like anyone cool at all. It's just things that happen. And happen. And happen. And then end up becoming this weird uber-crazy insane thing that kind of snowballs into the stuff of legend. Or possibly cautionary tale.

I had a laptop saga. I got in more trouble that my life is worth. And for some people I am more trouble than I am worth. But the thing is, these sagas (I keep having the urge to call them by the faux-Latin sagae) make are what makes my life (almost) worth living. It definitely makes my life worth blogging.

This, as if the title wasn't a clue, is my PSP saga.

Many, many moons ago the 'Softie gave me a PSP gaming console for my birthday. It was way cool. I loved it. I never realised how cool it was to play games on it until I tried it.

I was one of the generation that grew up on LCD-based hand-held games. Absent the gaming consoles popular in America, we made do with little game-and-watch machines. Mario would forever climb the scaffolding, and Donkey Kong, and his side-kick Donkey Kong Jr. would constantly swing on the vines.

We had a few gaming arcades, usually a small shop with either Space Invaders or Galaga. One even had the table version of Centipede. But they all disappeared when someone went to Las Vegas and discovered that you could get electronic gambling machines, and made them popular here. Admittedly before the disappearance they became extremely popular, everyone seemed to have a gambling machine on the premises. But that soon finished when the Premadasa government discovered them too. Like all governments, they maintained that vices could only be legal if they (or their hench-men) were getting a cut of it. So all arcade games were declared illegal, confiscated, and destroyed. Even the purely game machines.

During that time, I played a version of Pong on a machine connected to the TV. And various games on my Sinclair ZX Spectrum (16 colours! 16k of RAM! WOOHOO!). My introduction to PCs brought games like Thexder and Leisure Suit Larry. Bootleg copies of Prince of Persia, Turbo Outrun, Death Track, and Golden Axe filled my nights and Poya days. I played Wolf3d, Doom, and Duke Nukem 3D. I got into Dune, Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo. I spent many a sleepless night trying to take over the world in Civilization.

OK! I'll get on with my story. Sheesh! I was just trying to lay some foundation here. So the Saga continues..

Anyway, I loved the PSP. I played it, and I possibly got a little obsessed with it. My friend Bud helped me hack the firmware and get it to use software on a MemoryStick Duo. It was a cool machine, and it went many places with me.

Then sometime during SFD2007, while I was taking part in an event, it went missing. Since it was in my bag, and put away (I thought) safely, I have to figure it was stolen.

I was pissed off. I was also more than a little disgusted that someone would steal from my bag during an event. But there it was. Or more to the point, there it was not.

So I no longer had a PSP. That was 15 levels of piss-offing. Hey it's my blog and I can make up words if I want to.

That wasn't the worst thing that happened that year, but sometimes I think it was the kick-off point.

I went on without it of course. It was a luxury, and I could do without it. Or I kept telling myself.

But I really missed it after my accident. I was confined to bed for two weeks, unable to move. I couldn't concentrate enough to blog. In fact I was - to use a medical technical term - pretty fucked up. I wanted to have something, anything to take my mind off what had happened, and more than once, more than 10 times, I found myself saying/thinking/wishing damn! I wish I had the fucking PSP!

Since I lost the PSP I had been trying to buy one. I had my eye on the Darth Vader PSP. Then the screaming purple one. But I never had the money. I also wanted the PSP-1000. This was the original model and was guaranteed to be hackable.

Today, after more than a little work, I have some cash. Did a few contracts, and I have decided that a PSP would be mine. I went looking for a PSP-1000, but all they had was a P!nk special edition. And since it was endorsed by and promoting Pink the artist, it was also, obviously, pink in colour. Not just pink, but Pink! A flaming pink that would have guys in fashionable clothes trying to chat me up. It was also about LKR10,000 more expensive than the PSP-2000.

I also decided against the PSP-3000 because 6 months after launch it has not been hacked. This either means that the PSP-3k is a) unhackable because Sony learned from their mistakes, or b) Dark Alex has been bought or killed (or both).

So with the toss up between the 1000 and 2000, I guess I'll be buying the 2k. I haven't bought it yet, I am at the Majestic City food court having lunch and trying to get my thoughts in order.

If I can sneak aboard a hotspot I'll be uploading this soon.

If not, it will be when I get to TLC.

So the PSP will be bought. Probably a 2000. And Bud and I will get together and create a Pandora battery with his PSP-1000 and hack mine.

And I will have a PSP in my hands again.